5 Worst Superhero Costumes of All Time

One of the defining traits of any self-respecting superhero would be their iconic and usually cool costumes. These are the superheroes that didn't get that memo.

Daredevil

To all of us, Daredevil is known for he's striking crimson costume. But when he first appeared he actually looked like this...

You know how I know you're gay?

Never has a superhero costume color palette this painful on the eyes. You know who else wears that color marriage from hell?

And I believe he eats children.

At least Matt Murdock has an excuse for wearing that thing, he IS blind, guys. How the hell was he suppose to know?

Wolverine

"Whaat?! Why is the coolest short tempered and, um, short hairy Canadian mutant who was voted No.1 comicbook character in Wizard magazine here?", you must have asked yourself, but remember that the original origin tale for Wolverine was that he was an actual teenage wolverine animal.

Like this, but with a raging hormone and probably emo.

Good thing they scratched that idea, man, can you imagine what the world would be like if they didn't? Chaos would have reigned in the world. Well, they may have dumped that stupid origin story but Wolverine wasn't out of the woods yet. They stilled screwed up his costume on his debut on The Incredible Hulk #180.

Whiske- I mean, Wolverine is here!

This is about 95% of Wolverine's costume we all know and love today. Except for one itsy bitsy thing, he has whiskers here. Yeah, Wolverine has whiskers on he's first appearance. They still took the whole "Wolverine" thing a bit literal. Although I think anyone who called him "Whiskers" ended up seeing their guts on the floor. Fortunately, Wolverine bounced back from his fashion mistake and went on to carve his name on the annals of comicbook history. Literally.

Luke Cage A.K.A. Powerman

Can you say "typical stereotype black dude from the 70's"? Marvel, not wanting to be called a racist for having an all white superhero line up scrambled for a piece of paper and pencil and drew one of the first African-American superhero. Note that those people who drew Luke Cage were white geeky guys in the 70's so you can't fault them for making him into the sterero-typical token black guy. They probably just took some cues on popular media portrayals that they're big muscle bound guys, wears tight unbuttoned shirt, tight pants, a metal headband and since he has a headband already, color his clothes like he's on one of those disco rave. African-Americans do love going to disco, right? 

 

You know what? Add a metal chain as his belt for good measure.

And if that wasn't enough he was actually "Luke Cage: Hero for Hire". Yep, he was basically a black bodyguard superhero. Ah, there we go! A token superhero black guy in Marvel is born.

Wonder Man

What the hell Marvel? Were your artist color blind back in the day? Jeez, it's like you guys are just putting together random colors together and hope that you'll get a jackpot. You know what? I think back in the early days Marvel had this slot machine that gives them their idea for coloring their superheroes because I don't know how else to explain these costumes. For every Spiderman costume you probably get a couple of these...

Look at that. He's so proud of his costume. What a twat.

Why did he chose green though? Was he bombarded with Gamma rays? I don't think so. And if there's anything comicbooks has taught us, if you're bombarded with Gamma rays you'll have green skin, your body would be ripped like hell and there's a high chance you'll act like a big spoiled baby on Toys R Us. Wonder Man is just a big poser. You suck, poser!

The Red Tornado

Now if there's something Daredevil's first costume has taught us, it's that a red and yellow combination is an awful sin to do in coming up with a superhero costume. Apparently, Red Tornado didn't learn from Daredevil's mistake and decided to stick with his garish costume to this day. 

Another reason why superheroes need a fashion consultant.

Batman

Yeah, you read that right. Batman. As in THE BATMAN, The Caped Crusader, The Dark Knight, The World's Greatest Detective and the most badass comicbook character of all time had one of the most absolutely worst costumes of all time. It didn't have the iconic pointy ears or the gray and black color, no folks, it was an abomination. I'm not even kidding with that, you have no idea how bad it was. Do you want to see it? Are you sure? Okaay, I've warned you though. I now present to you, BATMAN!

You are now scarred for life.

What? Where's Batman? Is he behind of what looks like Drew Carey in a Robin costume? No people, THAT is Batman as Bob Kane first envisioned him. Could you imagine Christian Bale in that costume trading blows with Heath Ledger's Joker? You'll probably get confused as to who's the actual clown. God, now I'll have nightmares for days. Thankfully, our savior, Bill Finger was given the task of smoothing out Batman's ragged, spiked, covered in molten lava and sulfuric acid edges and gave us the paranoid sociopath we all know and love today. Thanks Bill. We owe you.

 

Oh thank God for Bill Finger.

Bob Kane may have created Batman but it was the unsung hero, Bill Finger, that shaped one of the most iconic character in comics today to what he is now.

Special Mention:

Aquaman

Aquaman trying to get attention.

Can you think of any problem the likes of Superman, Wonder Woman, Martian Manhunter and Green Latern woudn't be able to handle but a guy that can talk to fish can? Yeah, me neither. Aquaman is like the benchwarmer of the JLA. The guy that just sits in the background and cheer his team mates on. And he's costume is bright orange and green, you know what fish comes first to my mind when you say orange?

More reliable than Aquaman. Fact.

The 6 Definitive Superhero Videogames

Transitioning superhero characters to the videogame realm has always been a "hit or miss" affair. From the days of 8-bit gaming the developers have tried their hands on making a game about the majestic mythologies and powers of the comicbook superhero. They advertised "You are (Insert name of well-know superhero here)" and mostly, unfortunately,  failed horribly. And let's face it guys, those were days of hugely limited graphics so what did you expect? These characters are larger than life and you really can't contain them in a game where their only options were to go from left to right. Well, now we're in the real "next-gen" era of videogames and the developers finally have the processing power to give us the definintive superhero experience and they're finally getting some traction in bringing us just that. 

6. The Punisher (2005)

Based on the movie yet deviates from the film's storyline and is actually a "sequel" of sorts, the game captures the essence of what The Punisher is all about, mainly killing every criminal you find in the most sadistic way possible. Thomas Jane's voice work added a whole lot to the atmosphere of the game. His brooding and unsympathetic delivery pretty much sums up Frank Castle's sociopathic mind. The action in the game itself is flawed and average but it's brutal and violent interrogation and execution segments surprisingly made for that which is either a good or bad depending on your personal view. Funny how a few gallons of blood can make everything seem better in a game. This game is perfect to feed your inner vigilante sociopath's urges, hell, the game even has tips on how to remove blood stains on your shirt!

Frank is not a very nice person.

  
5. Spiderman: Web of Shadows (2008)

After the abysmal cash cow that was the Spiderman 3 videogame, it seems as if Spiderman has finally ran out of nifty little tricks with his virtual web. Fortunately for Spidey, Web of Shadows gave it the much needed boost for it's already declining quality. The game wasn't hindered with being tied to a movie and so the developers have complete freedom on taking memorable stuff from the original source which is the comicbooks. With an amped up fighting engine and a branching storyline Spiderman has smoothly rebounded from it's slow fall from grace and is now swinging on the number 5 spot.

Who's gonna clean all that web? Spidey, you douche.

4. The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction (2005)

Another superhero videogame that was able to learn from it's movie-based redheaded sibling. It sticked to what the Hulk is , basically a giant green muscled behemoth with the brain of a 4 year old throwing massive tantrums and of course, tanks to the heavens. The game was also a free roaming action adventure slugfest. Heck, Ultimate Destruction perfectly described this game on it's own. Unfortunately, the 2008 game adaptation of the movie castrated Ultimate Destructions gameplay and mechanics and was just a hollow green shell of it's former self.

Another day in New York City.

3. X Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)

Yeah I know, the movie was a god-awful butchering of Wolverine's real origin story from the comics but thankfully we found a gold in the heap of trash. In what is a pretty rare instance in movie based videogames, this one was actually good. The game was a violent and gory beat 'em up that finally gave everyone's favorite Canadian mutant his videogame due. With real time damage seen on Wolverine's body, this game was very graphic indeed. A far cry from it's PG-13 bloodless movie counter-part. The game was a God of War rip-off, yes, but if you're gonna rip-off something better take from the best, right? And in this game, you as Wolverine can gleefully rip-off (sorry, can't resist) the spine of anyone stupid enough to stand in your way. A fantastic combination of gore and action.

Like slicing warm butter.

2. Marvel: Ultimate Alliance (2006)

Basically a fan boy's wet dream, this action RPG of epic proportions has you controlling the "who's who" of the Marvel Universe against it's most well know villains. With lots of downloadble content going for it right now, this is one of the must have games if you call yourself a true comicbook fan. And now with Marvel: Ultimate Alliance 2 on the horizon which has double the playable characters, Activision has figuratively speaking, given you a geekgasm.

GEEKGASM

1. Batman: Arkham Asylum (2009)

 
Now the reason I even made this blog, let me say this up front, THIS IS THE DEFINITIVE SUPERHERO VIDEOGAME. This game is a shoe in for game of the year with it's beautiful graphics, grimy and edgy atmosphere, top notch voice acting and tight gameplay. I can't even emphasise the sheer amazement I had when I popped this game in my Xbox 360 and played for 3 hours. Man, those 3 hours flew by, I tell ya. While it didn't have all the iconic villains from Batman's rogue's gallery in there, it left a lot of clues for a definite sequel in the future. You really have to search every nook and cranny of the games huge environment to appreciate the developers work. And trust me, they gave you lots of easter eggs in there for the fans and, of course, warrant the eventual sequel in the future. There are only few occasions that I get excited this much for a videogame sequel and Batman: Arkham Asylum earns every drop of that hype with what it showed me in this game. A true classic. The Dark Knight has dominated both the movie and videogame industry, not even Superman has done that and he's DC's flagship character.

Batman 101: How to wipe the smile off someone's face.